Paternalism part 3

Archbishop Desmond Tutu passed away today and I couldn’t help but think of his quote, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” When I’m operating from a place of paternalism, I am likely much like the elephant. When I’m feeling the impact of paternalism, I am likely much like the mouse. But do I recognize when I flow between thee different roles? Answer: not as consistently as I would like, but I’ve grown to understand that what I would like is perfection and that is not realistic.

So what do I do with these feelings and reality of this situation. I look at these three characteristics of paternalism:

• those without power understand they do not have it and understand who does
• those without power are marginalized from decision-making processes and as a result have limited access to information about how decisions get made and who makes what decisions; at the same time they are completely familiar with the impact of those decisions on them
• those without power may internalize the standards and definitions of those in power and act to defend them, assimilate into them, and/or collude with those in power to perpetuate them in the belief that this will help them to belong to and/or gain power; they may have to do this to survive

I see not just a description of what negative impact, but a path to right my wrong of paternalism. As people without power understands who does, it’s important to listen to them. I can easily be blind to my power especially because I am a black male and face plenty of situations where I do not have power. I may see myself as less than and never able to have that power to be paternalistic, but I would be wrong. I am human and different situations present different roles and responsibilities. The same can be said about decision-making processes.

It’s not surprising that what I just processed highlights the issues with internalized oppression. Believing the misinformation about my own group and thus legitimizing that misinformation. As I think about it, it feel like misinformation is born out of the WS characteristic either/or. The reality is one of nuance. As E.J.R. David, Ph.D. said “It is time for us to become aware of how internalized oppression may exist and operate within us so that we may begin to stop it, control its effects, and cease the possibility that we pass it on to future generations. We’re not born hating ourselves; we learned that. Therefore, we can unlearn it. It’s not easy, but we need to.”