One Right Way
This Maladjusted Journey of white supremacy characteristics has been a roller coaster of emotions. While I’m a Black man living in America and find myself on the impacted end of these characteristics more often than not, I also recognize that I grew up learning these characteristics as “normal”, “professional”, and the right way to go about living. I recognize that while I may not always be in a position of traditional power, I do internalize these characteristics and leverage them at times against myself and others. Am I proud of that? No. Will it stop me from learning and growing? No.
“…the difference between being anti-racist and being racist, after someone just said or did something that was racist: to be racist, is to deny it; to be anti-racist, is to acknowledge it and seek to repair it. And if we’re not creating an environment where people can admit the times in which they’re being racist, then we’re not creating an environment which people can be anti-racist.” — Ibram X Kendi, at Colorado Trust Health Equity Learning Series
I can’t deny how living with these characteristics as expectations has impacted me. It has reinforced internalized oppression of racism. It has encouraged me to lean into sexism and homophobia. I continue on this journey because if I want to be the person I want to be, I can’t deny what living in a toxic environment has taught me.
- the belief there is one right way to do things and once people are introduced to the right way, they will see the light and adopt it
- when a person or group does not adapt or change to “fit” the one right way, then those defining or upholding the one right way assume something is wrong with the other, those not changing, not with us
- similar to a missionary who sees only value in their beliefs about what is good rather than acknowledging value in the culture of the communities they are determined to “convert” to the right way of thinking and/or the right way of living
a. What does this look like when you act towards only one right way mindset?
Often times I will question whether or not someone cares about others or success when I’m focused on one right way. For me, I can get tunnel-vision and want to find some way to blame the person for doing something different instead leaning into understanding what someone is doing and to accomplish the same end goal.
b. What feelings do you have when you act towards only one right way mindset?
I get frustrated and can feel it in my body. With that I feel a sense of being better than the other person for doing things “the right way”. I also can feel some envy that I didn’t think of the way someone came up with a solution and creativity that someone displayed. In some cases I also feel frustrated that the way someone did something feels inaccessible to me because of my experience with racism. With that I feel jealous of the privilege that someone has to be that free to be creative or take a chance and get rewarded for it.
c. What policies and/or practices does your work/organization reinforce or encourage only one right way mindset?
Professionalism standards are the first thing that comes to mind. I often wonder, how many cultural perspectives were included when someone insists on standards of professionalism. It often feels culturally narrowly defined.
d. What actions can you take to go from only one right way to accept that there are many ways?
I can actively build up more awareness and accountability to my reaction to different ways to reach a goal. This will allow me to lean into celebrating success, innovation, and ultimately the success of us all.
e. What benefits do you think you would get from applying more of the replacement characteristics?
I look forward to the freedom and burden of “one right way”. To let go and lean into ore possibilities will hopefully lift a burden off of my shoulders.
Action Plan Statement
From now on when I feel the urge to act towards only one right way mindset, I will actively build more awareness and accountability to falling into only one right way because it provides me with freedom from a burden that I do not have to carry. I will also support my work/ organization to address only one right way mindset by addressing professionalism standards. When I do act towards only one right way mindset, I will give myself some grace, acknowledge the impact I had on others, and engage in repair work by working to understand what repair looks like for the impacted before.
