I’m the Only One

As I wrote about individualism it was hard not to blend it with the White Supremacy characteristic of “I’m the only one”. The centering of individualism builds a concept of the notion that you have the power and ability to do what others can not. You are the lone cowboy that is fighting the good fight. You are the only one at the company that can fix the issues that arise. You don’t need the team, in fact, the team is keeping you from the solution.

As a leader, I think this is a very important characteristic to recognize, adjust away from, and nurture an environment that is free from “I’m the only one” and rich in team and collectivism. As a leader, we must keep as much attention to process as we do relationships and results. A long time ago I developed a leadership mission statement that has helped me stay focused on the collective as well as acknowledge that I have many flaws to acknowledge and grow from. My statement reads:

As a leader, I serve those around me with a sense of humility and the grace of God in order to change the world in a positive away.

Here is how I’m the only one shows up as:

• an aspect of individualism, the belief that if something is going to get done “right,” ‘I’ have to do it
• connected to the characteristic of “one right way,” the belief that “I” can determine the right way, am entitled and/or qualified to do so, in isolation from and without accountability to those most impacted by how I define the right way
• little or no ability to delegate work to others, micro-management
• based in deep fear of loss of control, which requires an illusion of control​
• putting charismatic leaders on pedestals (or positioning yourself as a charismatic leader on a pedestal)
• romanticizing a leader (or yourself) as the center of a movement, idea, issue, campaign
• hiding or covering up the flaws of a leader (or your flaws) in fear that the organization, movement, effort cannot survive
• defining leadership as those most in front and most vocal (thank you Cristina Rivera-Chapman for these last four bullets)

Self-reflection

a. What does this look like when you act like I’m the only one?

I can close my ears and eyes off to the suggestions and solutions from others. I do not ask for help. When help is offered, I reject it.

b. What feelings do you have when you act like I’m the only one?

I have a lot of confidence in myself in the moment. Afterwards, in reflection, I have a sense of loneliness. I also have a sense of frustration with others as well because of the lack of progress or the way others have been treated, which makes me feel like I have no choice, but to do things myself.

c. What policies and/or practices does your work/organization implement that reinforces or encourages I’m the only one mentality?

I think about the relationship with our compensation policies and this characteristic. Right now, state employees are compensated 16.4% below the prevailing market. As employees try to make the low compensation work they are given very few ways to increase their salaries. They are try to take on more work, but that has to be above and beyond what they are doing and a specific project that is of need. They can take on responsibilities of a position senior to them for a period of time. Both of these options are time limited and not a long term solution. Traditionally, we have a merit based pay system, but that relies on funding that has rarely occurred. In conversations with people in senior positions, they can only recall the merit system being funded a few times in a over a decade of it being in place.

This has very much led to an environment with few opportunities for increased pay and promotion and people trying to stand out in order to get those opportunities. This might seem appealing to some, but it has led to a lot of turnover and low morale.

d. What actions can you take to go from I’m the only one to delegation?

As a leader, I try hard to have a team environment where we can bring up issues and ideas together with no shame or blame attached to the thoughts brought up. For me, it’s a way to have a collective approach to our work.

e. What benefits do you think you would get from applying more of the replacement characteristics?

I have been leading teams since 2003. In that time, I have seen a lot more success in creating an environment that relied on a collective goal and true team work that leans into discomfort of discussion challenges and helping each other get better as opposite to fighting for attention and limelight.

Action Plan Statement

From now on when I feel the urge to act like I’m the only one, I will emphasis and support a collaborative team environment free of shame and blame because it provides me with success in reaching our collective goal. I will also support my work/organization with I’m the only one mindset by addressing the compensation. When I do act like I’m the only one, I will give myself some grace, acknowledge the impact I had on others, and engage in repair work by understanding why I did what I did and understand what others need for repair from me.